You think it'll never happen to you...

Rarely do I start off by quoting a bible verse, but I feel it’s only appropriate for me to start this way. 

Philippians 4:6-7 Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let your petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.

My good friend, who just finished chemo treatments, text me this last night and it was exactly what I needed.

As Adam and I waited in the ultrasound room after a 45 min exam of the baby’s heart, we joked that well the techs seemed to be jolly so everything must be okay, right?! During the ultrasound we could see the baby having the hiccups as its chest started moving up and down. Adam asked if I could feel them and of course I could feel the constant little pulse going; I absolutely love that feeling. The techs never gave each other any looks that would raise our concern or shared whispers amongst each other. And then Dr. J (the pediatric cardiologist, whom we’d not met yet) walked through the door and says very solemnly, “We’ll we need to talk.” My heart sank as I started to realize this probably wasn’t going to be good. She asked me to get back on the table so we could look at the baby’s heart. She then pointed out some anatomical features of the baby’s heart to us. After she pointed out just a couple areas, she had me sit back up and then she pulled out a little piece of paper that had two heart diagrams on it. The top picture was of a normal heart and the bottom was of a heart that looked like our unborn child’s. She then proceeds to tell us that NBC has a congenital heart disease known as Coarctation of the Aorta (CoArc). She then goes on to further explain the details of what is going on with NBC’s heart. CoArc is a tight narrowing in the aorta, which is the great vessel that takes blood from the heart to the body. Generally not inherited from parents and definitely not anything the parents did. It really is by chance that NBC has this condition. CoArc makes the main pumping chamber of the heart work harder, raises blood pressure in head and arms, and lowers blood pressure in legs and trunk. If the case is severe, the child may tire quickly, develop slowly, breath rapidly, and appear pale. She told us had they not found out right now, that we would probably had walked in about 3 days after the baby was born only to find him/her blue. She then reassured us that this is completely repairable and that NBC would have surgery about 3-7 days after it was born to repair the narrowing arch. After the surgery the kid can live a completely normal life. He/she will need to have an echo done every year to make sure everything is still working great. And there really is no good way to say this, but out of all the CHD that you can have, CoArc is actually a good one to have. It can be fixed and the person can live a completely normal life. After she was done explaining what exactly NBC has and how we’ll need to treat it; she excused herself to go get the nurse practitioner and surgeon (who would most likely be operating on NBC).

Adam and I just looked at each other after she left and believe it or not we were both at peace in our hearts. I know it doesn’t make sense, but we were and are. We told each other how it’s definitely not good news, but it’s also not the worse news either. We talked about how God put this in front of us and He will help guide us through it.

You never know how you’re going to react or what’s going to come over you when you hear devastating news. The night before Adam and I talked about no matter what God has in store for us that we can handle with His help. Although we thought we had nothing to worry about, we reassured each other that it doesn’t matter what we find out, everything will be okay. I told Adam I just had this peace inside that it’s going to be okay no matter what. It was this incredible peace I had that just filled my heart and felt like a warm blanket wrapped around me. I knew it was God that was giving me this peace and because I had turned everything over to Him, He gave me the peace I needed. I was really surprised how well we took the news. In fact everybody that helped us at the hospital seemed to be surprised about how calm we were.

Finally after awhile the Dr. J, the surgeon, and the nurse practitioner came back to explain everything NBC will go through when he/she arrives. I will have the baby at University Hospital and should be able to hold the baby right away. I should also be able to have the baby naturally, as the stress of labor will be okay for the baby. After he/she is born they will put some medicine through it’s umbilical cord to help with the narrowing. The baby and I will then stay at University until I am discharged. The baby will have to stay in the NICU and won’t be able to stay in my room, so they can monitor its heart and keep a close eye on him/her. Once I’m discharged they’ll take the baby to Children’s for its surgery. The surgery will probably take around 4 hours total (from the time they take the baby to post recovery). I will be able to nurse/pump just like normal and at least one parent can always stay with the baby.  The baby will most likely be in the hospital for a totally of 2 weeks. It really just depends on how the baby does when it’s born, how the surgery goes, how fast the baby recovers, and if baby is eating well. The surgeon explained that they should be able to do a closed heart surgery which means they will go through a little incision in the side underneath the baby’s armpit, which was a relief to know that they shouldn’t have to do an open heart surgery.

It’s sad that sometimes it takes seeing how unfortunately other people are to realize just how blessed you are. As we toured the hospital and saw kids struggling with other diseases and disabilities, I couldn’t help but give thanks for a healthy, happy, talking toddler at home. The toughest part of the day for me was walking through the Cardiac PICU where NBC will stay after surgery for a couple days. Even as I write this my eyes been to water up, because I know this is going to be so hard for me to see my precious little baby hooked up to monitors and tubes. My heart just ached seeing these precious babies fighting for their lives.

We called our parents and siblings to let them know what was going on. I’ve never heard so many shocked voices in my life as I told them what was going on and going to happen. It’s funny because you never think its going to be you that something like this could happen to. I never in a million years would have thought I’m not going to be able to bring my child home right away after I give birth, that my child will be born with a CHD, that I will have to sit by its bedside as it recovers from surgery, and even before all of this that I would have such trouble with pregnancies in general. But thing about it is that, when presented with these things, God gives us the strength that we need to get through it all. I remember talking to my mom one time about a family going through a tough situation and saying, “Oh I could never handle that. I don’t know how those parents do it.” But I do know how they do it, because I’m doing it right now. I could not feel more at peace in my heart that everything is going to be okay and though I have no idea what it’ll be like when he/she is born, I know that with my husband by my side and God leading the way we will get through anything. I know there will be tears, I know it’s going to hurt at times, but in the end I will walk away from this experience even stronger than I am now and give thanks that I have the faith that I do to carry me through all life throws at me.

Everybody we met at Children’s was extremely caring and nice. We were happy with the team we’ve met so far and feel comfortable that our baby will have the utmost care it’s going to need. The funny thing about the people there is they knew we didn’t want to know the sex, so they would call the baby a he/she/it. Most of the time they called it a "he," so Adam is convinced it is a boy.

After phone tag with numerous people trying to line up an OB appointment for this week, we’re finally scheduled to see an OB tomorrow morning.

So we went to PF Chang’s for our date night again this past weekend and here’s what my fortune cookie said: Prepare today for the demands of tomorrow. Plan your move.

"For the Lord your God is the one who goes with you to fight for you against your enemies to give you victory!” Deuteronomy 20:4

 

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take. Don’t be impressed with your own wisdom. Instead, fear the Lord and turn away from evil. Then you will have healing for your body and strength for your bones.” Proverbs 3:5-8