In the mist of everything happening I've found extreme comfort in praying and knowing that God will use me in ways I never thought imaginable. I pray that He will help me take all these experiences and share it with others and show them just much grace, guidance, comfort, endless love, and support that God will give you if you just hand it all over to Him. The peace He can give you is simply amazing and to get through the tough times I know I'm going to need Him to by my strength.
Tuesday we announced what's going on to most of our family and friends and the out-pour of thoughts and prayers has been amazing. It brings me so much comfort to know that NBC already has so many people praying for him/her. I truly believe in the power of pray and am so thankful for all the continued prayers that have been laid upon us right now.
Wednesday morning A and I headed down to the University Hospital bright and early to meet an OB, tour where I will deliver/stay, and where baby will be until he/she is moved to Children's. The OB appointment went good, except I think the dr has high hopes that I'm actually going to make it to May (but who knows, it could happen). After our appointment we met with a lady that coordinates all high risk pregnancies and high risk babies between the University and Children's. She showed us the labor and delivery floor and then we toured the NICU. We learned when I deliver that we're going to have quite the "party" in the room. I will have 2-3 doctors and 2 nurses just for me and then as soon as baby is born his/her will have a whole team right there to attend to the him/her. I may or may not be able to hold the baby, it all depends on how he/she is doing. As soon as baby is stable and taken care of he/she will go to the NICU, where A will be able to follow and see everything that's going on. The room I will end up staying in is royally right across from the NICU and I can stay in the NICU as long as I want with the baby.
As Adam wheeled me (I had to be in a wheel chair since I'm suppose to be on strict bed rest, so walking all over would kind of defeat the purpose of bed rest) into the NICU, I once again was brought back to reality that this is going to be hard (probably harder than I can imagine), but I will let God be my strength and I know that through all of this I will become a stronger person. We went to an empty unit and saw where NBC will "hang out" until it's time to go over to Children's. It's a lot to take in when you see other babies hooked up to countless monitors and IV's, with the helpless parent standing next to the incubator. Though there really is noway to prepare for everything we're going to face, I am thankful that we at least have seen where all this is going to take place and have somewhat of a game plan with everything happens.
I talked to a friend the other day who has been through the NICU process. It was nice to ask her "mom" questions and prepare myself the best way I can for what's about to come. She warned me how the hardest thing is going to be when you see your baby for the first time hooked up to countless monitors/etc. She said its hard to leave there crib side and its hard to just let them have there "rest" time (so they can sleep and grow). Most of the babies (depends on circumstances and what not), but can only be held for about 30 min at a time; to me this is what's going to be hard for me. Nonetheless, I will do whatever is best for the baby and just take comfort in knowing that he/she is finally here and doing good.
I don't know if there's an easy way to prepare for everything we're about to go through, but I am thankful that I at least know what's coming and have an somewhat of an idea what to expect. I'm so thankful that we at least know about all of this before and aren't hit with a bomb on its birthday (which is already an emotional day). I really am thankful for the tech that saw something that just didn't look right to her and sent us on for further testing.
Today I had yet another dr's appointment, luckily I can do all my care here and don't have to go to Denver again until the baby is on the way (that will be an exciting drive)! The appointment went good and baby is very active and has a strong heart beat. I will continue to go every week for an ultrasound and regular appointment with Dr. B. I've lost about 9 lb in a week, which obviously isn't good so now I really have to start watch what I'm eating and that I'm eating enough. I really thought I'd been eating like normal, but I think the stress of everything has really taken effect on my appetite.
We've finally come up with our game day game plan! At least its our tentative plan until the day actually comes and then we just start calling audibles. Now it's time to get the bags packed (just in case) and make sure the cameras are ready to capture everything!
I absolutely love pictures! Rarely am I seen without having a camera in my hand; even my son knows what the camera is, and knows to smile anytime its around him! I love how they tell a journey, I love that they help us remember those precious moments that we'll never get back, I also love the endless stories they will always tell! With that here's just a few recent ones:
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4 comments:
You can do this! (With God!)
Honesty, I think right now is going to be the hardest part--more than the actual birthday party in the NICU. Right now you have to wait, and try to keep your heart free of fear. Once the baby is actual here, and receiving treatment from a great group of doctors--so many of the unknowns will be answered and you'll have a more concrete basis for all of your Hope.
I really, really felt horrible that my little newborn didn't get a "normal" bonding process with me after her birth. I was feeling so blue about that one day when we were apart but then God reminded me that her learning experiences didn't start at her birth! My baby girl had all that time to experience love from me during my pregnancy.
In fact, when we got her home at 4 weeks old--I was totally shocked at how much she "remembered". My baby totally knew her older siblings voices, and they were so little they weren't allowed to visit her in the NICU.
So use this preparation time to bond with NBC. You can sing silly songs and read favorite chapter books. Get NBC a special crib blanket. You can have your older son make handprint pictures to put up on the NICU crib. Then when you get together in the NICU you can have a bonding routine--even outside of the familiar confines of home.
Also, I know it seems so short to hold a normal baby, but in the NICU--30 minutes of holding time (or kangaroo time) is heaven!!! That short burst will have you floating on clouds for a whole day. I used to joke that our kangaroo time was more "Mommy medicine" than "Baby medicine."
Abigail- thank you so much for your thoughtful words and insight. It really helps getting all these tips from you and am just reassured from all your positive comments. Can you please email me your contact info. I'd really love to email/call you sometime if that would be okay. My email is carrikers@hotmail.com.
Hi Angie! My dear friend Abby (above) sent me here, and I'm so glad she did! I am the Mama to another Heart Baby, and I could shout from the rooftops every day that GOD LOVES ME SO MUCH TO HAVE BLESSED ME WITH THIS CARDIAC KID!
"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" never meant more than walking through the halls in Children's cardiac ICU (in DC). We think we know what that means, but when God gifts us with unexpected blessings in the form of challenges, then we really truly understand what He meant by "My Grace is sufficient."
you are SO blessed! When NBC is born you will be as overwhelmed with love, and no tubes or wires will ever change that. It doesn't matter what machines, meds, wires, beeps, lines, or big words surround him, that little NBC is Your Baby, your very own PERFECT gift from an awesome and loving God!
Each and every day I breathed His Grace and His Love. You are starting with a strong Faith - just hang on to that and you will be GREAT! Yes, there are challenges ahead. There always are, but nothing will happen that God hasn't foreseen and will give you and your husband the strength for in every single moment of every single day.
That NBC already knows You, Big Brother, and Daddy. Bonding will be different, but it will continue. NBC is just as blessed to have a strong, faith-filled family as yall are to have him!
Please know you are in our daily prayers!!!
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